sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

88,900 notes

popularselfie:

getting a good grade on the test you were 97.4% sure you were going to fail

119,394 notes

boysenberryjam:

omfg somebody quote me

"omfg somebody quote me"
- boysenberryjam

3 notes

gnarly:

reasons to date me:
1:
2:
3:
4:
5: please lol

90,231 notes

blameaspartame:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"

blameaspartame:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"

14,232 notes

boredpoetsociety:

devotionaura:

everyone watch this video of my dog gettin embarrassed that i caught him singin

IM GONNA CRY

176,425 notes

  • church: follow jesus
  • me: does he follow back?
  • church:
  • me:
  • church:
  • me: promo 4 promo?

212,074 notes

insidiousmisandry:

i cant believe i missed the lesbian sex wars

insidiousmisandry:

i cant believe i missed the lesbian sex wars

92,763 notes

hotwhiteguy:

and they say romance is dead

hotwhiteguy:

and they say romance is dead

(Source: povvs)

8,026 notes

robertshmurder:

the game is evolving too quickly

robertshmurder:

the game is evolving too quickly

27,453 notes